Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's official drugs can't kill me
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
