its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
