Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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