i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
