I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
