You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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