The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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