he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
