Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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