if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize
