Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
