don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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