There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
