no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
