Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
