is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
