So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
