i just wanna soil my oats bro
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
