Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
