Where did you get a picture of my penis
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
