Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize