I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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