I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
