nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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