Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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