I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
