i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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