haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
we should paint friendship bongs
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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