sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
