Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
