I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
