Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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