There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
