Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
