Small penises have feelings too.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
