how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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