She announced her abortion via fbk
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
