Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
My vagina just clenched in fear
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
