Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
