you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
