is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
