It's Friday. Sex?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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