): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
