So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
So apparently I’m into choking now
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
