I met the friendliest cop last night
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
