Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
