I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
