just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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