I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
