At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
