where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
