Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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