Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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