Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
