its not stalking. its research.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
