Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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