Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
