you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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