it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
