homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize