i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
